Confessing My Secret Perversions


All my life I felt that my submissive fantasies (and needs) with women were perversions. This was true at work, at home and especially in the bedroom. The truth is that in our society, it is taboo for a heterosexual man to be submissive, especially to women. 

All too often, when I admitted my sexual proclivities to my girlfriends (or potential lovers) they had the same reaction as the woman in this picture: a combination of amusement and bashfulness. Amused that a mature man like me would have such unmanly fantasies and at the same time too bashful to take control of me. (They may also have been embarrassed for me)

Occasionally, out of curiosity or maybe pity, my confession would persuade her to experiment. It was often awkward at first, but after getting over the initial unease, and with some giggles of embarrassment, she often began to enjoy her new role... 


Submissive Eduction in FLR


Teaching, or more accurately, retraining, your man is an important part of a successful FLR relationship. Even if he is mature and experienced, it is very likely that he has many bad habits that he needs to lose to make a good servant for you. 

First, it is important to  make it clear who is in charge and who is her servant. This woman has chosen to train her man in the art of cunnilingus by having him kneeling at her feet naked and in a submissive posture. Not allowing him to use his hands assures that he has no control.

He seems eager to serve his woman- maybe this is a reward for being obedient. What is clear is that she is leading him and teaching him how to please her; something that may be humiliating to a mature man, but is part of the process. Some men might actually welcome this instruction!

This is the essence of a Female Led Relationship.

The Erotic Nature of FLR Discipline

I must confess that I find this scene of FLR discipline very erotic. I think many men and maybe some women might share in this. What is it that makes it so erotic? Are these things that can be used in a healthy FLR relationship?

CFNM: His nude body, contrasting with her clothes, is a perfect visual representation of the F/m power dynamics that are at play: He is naked and vulnerable. She is dressed and in control. It does not have to be fetish clothing. She could be dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and still be prevailing over her naked charge.

Age Play: It is obvious that he is much older than she. Imagine the humiliation he must be feeling being punished by a woman who could be his daughter's schoolmate. It could also be the other way around, where she is old enough to be his mother's friend. Even if their physical ages are the same, their roles of teacher and schoolboy still makes him feel her junior.

Female in control: Watch how she looks at him after each swat. She is enjoying her power over this older man. She is amused...and yet, making sure he is fully grasping her power.

Male Submission: There are few positions that are more submissive than where this man finds himself. First, he has his buttocks high up and vulnerable for her pleasure. She can stroke his cheeks and even play with his anus. She can even reach down between his thighs and grab his scrotum and cock. 

Sexual Humiliation: Whatever pain this woman is inflicting on this man, it doe not match what she is doing to his masculinity. As he lies naked and helpless across her lap receiving her blows, he is no longer a mature man, but rather a boy. His buttocks are presented to her for the taking- by her or anyone who happens to walk in. His cock, in whatever state of erection, is impotently pressed into her thigh.

Schoolboy/Teacher: No matter his age or experience (sexual or otherwise), he is now nothing more to her than a schoolboy and she, his teacher. This is such an important relationship in FLR, and this spanking only reinforces it.

S/M?: I once asked a woman I was dating if she would paddle me. She was clearly shocked and said that she was not a sadist. She went on to say that I must be a masochist if I wanted to be hurt like that. Soon after that we broke up. For a while, I really thought that she was right, and what I really desired was to feel pain. One day after striking out with a couple more girlfriends, I went to a professional dominatrix. Among the many things I experienced that day, was an over-the-knee paddling very similar to the one pictured above. What I discovered, with her help, was that the pain was only a memento of the experience, an experience that involved all the elements I have listed above, occurring at the same time. It was my first time experiencing sub-space. I no longer consider myself a masochist, or a woman who likes to punish men a sadist. I don't know what to call it. Maybe Mistress/sub or Teacher/student or simply FLR?