Orgasm Control and Male Chastity in a FLR

Orgasm denial and male chastity are two of the most powerful tools in a female led relationship (FLR).

Orgasm denial, like pegging redefines sexual roles in the bedroom. It puts the woman in charge of what happens and transforms what men often think is a privilege (or even a conquest), into a reward for pleasing his woman. At its simplest, the man must fully satisfy his woman before he is allowed to orgasm. As it becomes more involved, it could become a method of sexual re-education and sex role reversal. Making her man beg for release gives her control over his physical and innate sexuality- and of what defines him as a man.

Orgasm denial is often a prelude to male chastity and over the years there have been an evolution of male chastity devices to help women achieve this control. Male chastity devices give the woman complete control of her man’s sexual life and makes him dependent on her for it. There is no greater feeling of submission by a man to a woman than having his sex, his manhood, his masculinity and his virility tamed, locked up and put completely under a woman's control and whims. His manhood becomes hers to own. When she locks the chastity device and puts the key around her neck or on her bracelet, she owns him and he is completely at her command in the bedroom and beyond. It also can act as a secret (or not so secret) public display of her ownership.

There are many forms of male chastity devices (MCDs) available, but the ultimate aim is to lock away the man’s sex organ in a way that he cannot achieve orgasm on his own. They have many uses including orgasm control, punishment and/or humiliation. Some devices confine the penis so that the man cannot achieve erection, and some impale the urethra, something that can be both painful and extremely erotic.

There are various types of MCDs including 'chastity belts, penis 'cages' and urethral plugs. Below are pictures of 4 types of MCDs:

Figure 1 A male chastity belt that completely covers the man’s penis. Since there is no way for the man to pee, it is not really very practical except in the bedroom. Note that even though the front completely covers the penis, the back of the belt has a convenient hole; just the right size for dildo or butt plug? 

Figure 2  Two versions of a penis ‘cage’. These are the most popular type of MCD because they can be worn long term and allow the man to pee. These devices generally have three functions- to prevent the man from getting an erection, prevent him from using his penis in sex and, in some cases, also prevent his penis from being touched (to prevent masturbation or other forms of release). Most types have a lock- and the woman gets to keep the key after it is locked.


Figure 3  Two versions of a urethral ‘plug’. These are designed to be pushed down the penile urethra (the hole) and act both to prevent erections and prevent (or control) ejaculation. It is quite uncomfortable (even painful) for the man and generally more common for couples who enjoy BDSM. Unlike the cage, this is rarely used for long term chastity. 

 Figure 4  Two hybrid versions of the cage and plug. There are many versions of these including ones with ‘hollow plugs’ with a core that can be removed (for urination etc.). 

Many other devices exist but the 'cage' has become the most popular for couples in a FLR. Certainly the woman does not need a MCD to practice orgasm denial, but she might actually find that her submissive man enjoys (yes, enjoys!) being locked in a cage.

FLR From the Boardroom to Bedroom

Female led relationships (FLR) (sometimes called Female Domination or Femdom) is a lifestyle that can be divided into three distinct types: Social, Domestic and Sexual.

‘Social FLR’ has often been called ‘Matriarchy’. Currently there are no true matriarchal societies, but current Western societies are slowly accepting more women in leadership positions. This has not been easy, and strong women (like Hillary Clinton) are often considered ‘butch’ or ‘bitchy’.
Social Femdom also applies to women in the work force. The concept that a woman can be a man’s boss has been considered ‘unnatural’ in the past, but slowly is growing in many firms and work places. Although sex and sexuality officially (and legally) has no place in our social institutions, it is naive to believe that sexual tensions (or outright sex) do not exist in politics or the boardroom. This might be true whether the boss is a man and the sub is a woman or the boss is a woman and the sub a man, but in our society it is safe to say that the latter is regarded as a more ‘unnatural’ relationship- and one that often causes the male to feel a level of humiliation among his peers.

‘Domestic FLR’ is where the woman is dominant in the non-sexual aspect of a personal relationship, or marriage. In fact, I suspect that many marriages evolve to this type of relationship over time- and is becoming more acceptable. In the past, men were called hen-pecked or milquetoasts if they allowed the woman to take the lead in the household and domestic life. This again is likely driven by sexual tensions, but is changing- maybe to a more ‘natural’ state of female domination…

Finally, ‘Sexual FLR’ is the concept that sexual gratification is the right of women over men. This is a reversal from the traditional concept that a woman was meant to satisfy her man- usually in the role of a submissive and willing receptacle… In my experience, most women- even if they are domestic and social dominants- feel uncomfortable in a sexually dominant role. In this respect, the bedroom is the final frontier of FLR- and I hope that this blog will help women feel more comfortable exploring  and considering how to adopt this into their lives (they may also discover that most men are already more than willing); and that it will help men feel reassured that their often repressed submissive desires toward women is natural.

For me, the picture above demonstrates the sexual nature of all forms of the FLR- as the female boss is most likely instructing her male underling to kiss her shoes- a clear demonstration of submission and humiliation. And although there is no fetish clothing, no cane or whip, no strap-on dildo, the message is clear and the sexual tension is extremely strong.
It is this sexual tension that permeates through every aspect of the FLR and modern relationships between the sexes. If you are interested in some of the many sexual aspects of FLR, follow this link.