Pegging in the Female Led Relationship

Few elements of a Female Led Relationship are as powerful and role defining as pegging (using a strap-on dildo on a man's anus). At its very basic, pegging is simply sexual role reversal, with the woman becoming the sexual dominant and invading the anus of the now sexually submissive male. Physically, pegging can be done in many positions but is usually performed ‘doggy style’ or in the missionary position.

Take a look at the picture above. Although the woman is smaller and possibly younger than the man, the strap-on dildo automatically puts her in command. How vulnerable does the man feel with his genitals and anus fully displayed for her? Her hand reminds him that she is about to 'own' him, and he will soon surrender to her dildo.

For a heterosexual male, the idea of being taken up the ass by a woman is the epitome of humiliation. It is not just the discomfort but also the complete surrendering of sexual control to her; something that many heterosexual men are not used to. It is counter to all the ideals of masculinity that both men and women have been raised to accept.

The humiliation is often increased if the dildo stimulates his prostate (sometimes called the ‘male g-spot’), which may not only give him an intense feeling of ‘pleasurable discomfort’ but, under the right circumstances, force an ejaculation and orgasm. This mostly involuntary ejaculation can be made even more certain if the woman uses a vibrating dildo to stimulate the prostate (and maybe herself at the same time).

Yet, despite the discomfort and the humiliation- the experience can be extremely arousing for the man. Why such an experience would be so arousing is difficult to say (and I am sure that not every man would feel aroused by this), but a large part is probably the feeling of total surrender to the woman that many men crave.

What about the woman?  It is certain that a woman's experience is quite varied. In addition to the physical stimulation that the woman may get from the dildo, many women get a strong feeling of sexual power and control over her man. Others may feel a closer emotional bond.

One female pegging enthusiast, who discovered it later in adulthood, wrote:
I understand: “... the complete surrendering of sexual control to her; something that many heterosexual men are not used to. It is counter to all the ideals of masculinity that both men and women have been raised to accept.”  When I first contemplated pegging, it alarmed me a bit because it was the complete assumption of control, something many straight women of my era aren’t used to.  It felt very unfeminine.  But I got over it as I saw beautiful women in lovely corsets and other outfits smiling gently, having at their fellas. And, as I started to use it, I learned first hand how much men crave it.
The man who’s going to be pegged needs to prepare for it.  And to be prepared.  Clean out with an enema.  He can wear a butt plug to stretch the anus.  And one must use lube.  Lots and lots of lube.  I really like to rim my lover first, to lick and suck and make him feel wonderful and relaxed.  Then I can lube my fingers and have at him.  One, two, three.  Massage the prostate, get him ready for the main event.  Begin with a small shecock and then change it out for a larger size.  Slip in gently, then begin to thrust once it’s clear he’s enjoying it.  If it’s done right, it shouldn’t be painful.  It should be pure pleasure.
Just because the woman has a strap-on doesn’t mean she forgets about the rest of sexual pleasure.  I touch and stroke my men.  And in one very special case, I kissed him thoroughly as I buggered his ass.
Another woman, who had a (now deactivated) website based on her own FLR experience with her husband, has the following, more assertive advice for women considering starting pegging in a FLR:
In a female led relationship… getting the strap-on is not an option.
Don’t let the challenges of the first few sessions deter you. He’ll resist and try to manipulate his way out of it. He’ll talk about how much it hurts and how uncomfortable if feels. He’ll scream like a little bitch the first few times. All of that’s very normal.
But just keep at it. Your goal is to make it a very normal part of his experience. Believe me, he’ll eventually get used to it. 

After a while… 2-3 months of getting it pretty regularly… some pretty wonderful things will start to happen. His selfish, argumentative masculine edge will dissipate. He will become much more cooperative and attentive to your needs. His submissive side will come out and blossom. He will become much less concerned with his orgasms, and more focused on yours. His erogenous zone will slowly start to shift from the head of his penis to the opening to his asshole and his prostate gland.

CFNM (Clothed Female / Naked/Nude male)

If Femdom and Female Led Relationships are the redefinition of the sexual hierarchy (women rule / men serve), CFNM is the physical representation of those redefinitions. Traditionally, women are the sex objects for men's pleasures- whether in 'men's magazines' or in gentlemen's clubs. CFNM makes the man the sex object. There is no doubt that nudity makes a man more vulnerable, especially if the woman or women are fully dressed. But it goes much deeper than that.

Take the picture above: it is probably some kind of party and a naked man is serving the amused young woman some wine. His nudity and her being dressed instantly and tacitly establishes a D/s relationship. It also establishes a role-reversal, as the man becomes a sex object for the woman; which is traditionally how men have treated women (think Hooters or “gentleman’s clubs”). To convey this additional D/s dynamic, some use the term CFnm.

In addition, his bright red buttocks cannot hide the fact that he has recently received a spanking or paddling (from his female leader or as part of the party entertainment?) for some misbehavior. This exposed memento of his disciplining at the hand of a woman reinforces the humiliation of his punishment beyond the immediate ceremony, and further reinforces his subordinate status.

Because his genitals are fully exposed to any woman who might be interested, he cannot hide how well endowed he is, or the state of his arousal. This might further expose him to ridicule and humiliation. Even more humiliating and submissive role-defining might be if his manhood is locked up in a male chastity device.

There are many other aspects of CFnm that might be used in a Female Led Relationship, but they all share some aspect of the naked man’s vulnerability, humiliation and sex object role-reversal.

Have you been involved in a CFnm dynamic? What were the circumstances? How did it feel? If not, would you like to?