Corporal Punishment in the Female Led Relationship (FLR)

Corporal Punishment (CP) is defined by Wikipedia as a form of physical punishment that involves the deliberate infliction of pain as retribution for an offense, or for the purpose of disciplining or reforming a wrongdoer, or to deter attitudes or behavior deemed unacceptable. The term usually refers to methodically striking the offender with the open hand or with an implement, whether in judicial, domestic, or educational settings.

CP is similar in FLR, with the addition of a distinct sexual undercurrent and a healthy dose of humiliation. Imagine you are the man in the picture above. Naked and bent over in such a vulnerable and submissive position. Your erect cock, that betrays your arousal, is casually ignored by the woman who is about to punish your buttocks.

Now imagine you are the woman in the picture. You wield the power over the naked man. He is presenting himself to you in the most humiliating pose for a heterosexual man. You can play with his vulnerable scrotum, his buttocks and even his anus. And you can administer punishing strokes to his behind. You are in complete control.

In FLR, CP can be used as part of training the sub (male or female) to learn and accept his or her new role; disciplining him or her when caught doing something proscribed (like masturbation without permission), or even for entertainment (for the woman who have a little sadistic streak in her).
As Wikipedia explains there are several ‘implements’ used in FLR CP. There is plain old spanking with the bare hand, which often hurts the hand of the woman meting out the punishment. But for the woman who wants to spare her hand, there is a large range of implements of punishment that includes, rulers, wooden spoons, spatulas, paddles (ping pong or sorority paddles are some examples), canes (specially made for ‘caning’), riding crops, belts and even whips.

The methods of punishments can vary greatly as well, depending on the reason for the punishment and the woman’s whims. To be most effective, the sub should be naked (or at least with a bare ass), and made to get in a certain vulnerable and humiliating pose to receive his or her punishment. Introducing a ceremonial air helps the punishment emphasizes the authority of the woman carrying out the punishment, and increases the humiliation for the receiver.

Although there is a degree of BDSM in CP, it can often be a sensuous experience, or at least sexual. This is particularly true if sexual humiliation is added to the ceremony. In some cases, the sub may actually experience ‘sub space,’ a state that is similar in intensity to orgasm but is not necessarily sexual. This ‘sub space’ experience truly is a BDSM experience, but in a female led relationship can help solidify the woman’s domination over her sub. Having had this experience twice at the hand of a woman, I can say it is truly a mind blowing submissive experience.

For many women, the idea of inflicting pain on a man (or woman) is quite disagreeable. They might feel like this is either abusive or sadistic. Some might find it weird. But for the submissive man, it is actually something he craves. It is not necessarily the pain that he craves, but rather a hard to define sexual gratification that comes from submission and humiliation.

For those women who are new to FLR and may be hesitant to administer CP, it may be good to start slowly- maybe with playful spanking (when he is naked). You might be surprised how well he responds...

The many aspects of sexual Female Led Relationships (FLR)

FLR is all about putting the woman first; and the FLR lifestyle now permeates every aspect of human relationships: from Social to Domestic to Sexual. Socially, women have gotten leadership positions over men in the workplace and in government. And domestically it is no secret that many marriages are female led. But it is the sexual aspect of FLRs that remain most taboo in our society.

  • How do you react to the photo above? 
  • What do you think of the woman? 
  • What do you think of the men at her feet? 
  • Are you shocked (or maybe even disgusted) by the implications?

Although the picture implies a certain measure of BDSM, like the FLR lifestyle, it implies so much more. In this picture, there is aspects of Goddess worship, humiliation, and devotion to woman-  all key components of the female dominant lifestyle.

Below I have compiled a list of some of the various components of sexual FLR and a brief description of what each means to me. Each item with a hyperlink will guide you to a more detailed photo/post on the subject (these will be added and updated as they become available).
This is only a partial list of aspects of FLRs- so please feel free to comment on the ones below or suggest others:

Goddess Worship:

This is the worship of a woman as a Goddess. It can be simply metaphorical or can truly be a religious experience (especially from the man’s point of view). The photo above comes close to representing this.

Orgasm Denial:

This is one form of ‘Discipline’ (the D in BDSM) where the woman denies her man permission to have an orgasm. This can be anywhere from a few minutes (during intense teasing and sexual stimulation), to days, weeks or months. This Discipline serves to establish the woman’s control over her man and often leads to extremely intense orgasms for her charge when she finally grants him permission.

Male Chastity:

This is an extreme form of orgasm denial that can be simply not allowing the man to have an orgasm (for a specific amount of time) to locking his penis in a cage sometimes called a ‘male chastity device’. Some devices simply prevent erections while others may have urethral ‘plugs’ or painful barbs. Male chastity can be used in many ways by the woman (this will be discussed later), but for the man it is a constant reminder that his manhood belongs to his woman.


In FLRs, cuckolding is the subjugation of a woman’s sub-male to watching and/or knowing about her sexual encounters with other (usually well endowed) men- or women. For the sub-male this demonstrates to himself and to his woman his sexual inadequacy and is a form of sexual humiliation (see below). For the woman it is a form of both submission (to the well endowed man) and dominance… with a little mental sadism.


In FLR, pegging usually consists of the woman using a strap-on dildo in anal intercourse with her sub. For the woman, this is the ultimate in sexual control and power, and for the sub-male it is often the ultimate in sexual humiliation and submission. For the couple, it is a sexual role reversal that allows the man to understand the true meaning of ceding sexual control and the woman to relish it.

Feminization / Cross-dressing:

This is the practice of having (often forcing) the man to dress and be made up like a woman. It is a form of sexual humiliation and sexual re-education (see below) that is most effective in men who have been misogynists or male chauvinists in their prior roles. It essentially forces the man to experience the sexual humiliation and degradation that he would have inflicted on the women in his life. Of course there are many men who enjoy cross-dressing for other reasons that may have nothing to do with FLR...

Sexual Humiliation:

This is a major aspect of FLRs; and often one of the most erotic!
It can span from feminization to pegging to cuckolding to corporal punishment and beyond…

It cuts deep into a man’s sexuality and masculinity, exposing him to a most intense intimacy with his woman. In many ways it is a process that eventually leads to the sexual re-education of the man. Even though many women might not realize it, men often find sexual humiliation an extremely erotic experience…

CBT (Cock and Ball Torture):

Although this is mainly a form of Sado-Masochism, it is often used in FLRs. A woman might flick the man scrotum with her finger if she is unhappy with his erection or she might use a small crop (sometimes called a penis whip) to ‘correct’ a man’s attitude, arousal or misbehavior.

Corporal Punishment:

Although often considered BDSM, this can be a very powerful tool in FLR to define the dominant female and the submissive male roles. There are many forms, including caning, paddling, whipping and spanking. In the picture above, each groveling male shows signs of having endured corporal punishment at the hand of their Goddess.

CFNM (Clothed Female Nude Male):

The use of nudity as a sign of subservience of the male and clothing as a sign of privilege in the woman is a very effective way to define the FLR relationship. There is much symbolism in this practice, but the bottom line is that it defines the male as a sex object while the dressed woman is now the ogler- an instant role reversal. It also makes the man more exposed vulnerable. Each man in the picture above feels all of these...

Financial Domination:

This is the practice that ranges from men giving ‘tributes’ to a woman to a long standing relationship where the man supports the woman in the ‘lifestyle fit for his Princess’. 

Sex Role Reeducation:

This is a rather nebulous aspect of FLR that often depends on the woman, the man and their relationship. It is the concept that most men in current society have been raised in male dominated sexual roles while the woman has been encouraged to be submissive. Re-education (for both parties) can use any of the above aspects of FLR to establish and re-enforce the new roles of Woman over man. It can also employ all aspects of BDSM- but especially the Discipline portion. Since FLR is usually a continuing relationship, I believe this may be one of its most important tools to keep the relationship clear and exciting.

What does a FLR mean to you?

Tell Me, Guy, What does a FLR mean to you?
Each person has their own version and I am interested in hearing what your version is.
Miss M.

Miss M,

Before I answer your question, I think I should say that I find the many terms related to FLR confusing. There is FLR (Female Led Relationship), Femdom (Female Domination), Matriarchy and F/m- to name a few. Although each seems to indicate that the woman is leading, I think there are different and inconsistent ideas about what each truly mean.

Since my adolescence, I have always felt a sexual need to submit to women. I say sexual, because I believe it was always the basis of my interactions with women. I did not have a term for it, but just found the idea of submitting to women extremely erotic. It was only when internet chat rooms came around in the late 90's that I heard of the term Femdom. I also learned from those early internet social networks that as a heterosexual submissive male, I was not alone. It seemed there were many men who had similar proclivities, and we all felt profound shame and self doubt about it.

Part of the reason of the shame and self doubt was that Femdom women where always depicted as leather clad dominatrices or butch whip-wielding Amazons who hated men and were ready to beat me within an inch of my life; and yet, I found it (and them) erotic. It made me believe that Femdom was a fetish closely related to BDSM (especially the S&M part), so it made me believe that I must be a masochist and started to follow BDSM sites.

What I came to understand was that, when it comes to Femdom, I was much more interested in the Bondage and Discipline of the BDSM than the Sadism and Masochism. It was not the pain that I craved, but rather the ceding of power and control to women and the vulnerability and humiliation that it brought.

I have found that for most people, the term Femdom still has the stigma of being a BDSM fetish, so I much prefer to use Femdom only as a subset of FLR.

So now about FLR:

For me, FLR is a lifestyle that can be divided into three areas: Social, Domestic and Sexual. All three are founded on my sexual desire to submit to women.

‘Social FLR’ is what has been called ‘Matriarchy’. Currently there are no true matriarchal societies, but current Western societies are slowly accepting more women in leadership positions. This has not been easy, and strong women (like Hillary Clinton) are often considered ‘butch’ or ‘bitchy’.
Social Femdom also applies to women in the work force. The concept that a woman can be a man’s boss has been considered ‘unnatural’ in the past, but slowly is growing in many firms and work places. Although sex and sexuality officially (and legally) has no place in our social institutions, it is naive to believe that sexual tensions (or outright sex) do not exist in politics or the boardroom. This might be true whether the boss is a man and the sub is a woman or the boss is a woman and the sub a man, but in our society it is safe to say that the latter is regarded as a more ‘unnatural’ relationship- and one that often causes the male to feel a level of humiliation among his peers.

‘Domestic FLR’ is where the woman is dominant in the non-sexual aspect of a personal relationship, or marriage. In fact, I suspect that many marriages evolve to this type of relationship over time- and is becoming more acceptable. In the past, men were called hen-pecked or milquetoasts if they allowed the woman to take the lead in the household and domestic life. This again is likely driven by sexual tensions, but is changing- maybe to a more ‘natural’ state of female domination…

Finally, Sexual FLR’ is the concept that sexual gratification is the right of women over men. This is a reversal from the traditional concept that a woman was meant to satisfy her man- usually in the role of a submissive and willing receptacle… In my experience, most women- even if they are domestic and social dominants- feel uncomfortable in a sexually dominant role. In this respect, the bedroom is the final frontier of FLR- and I hope that this blog will help women feel more comfortable exploring  and considering how to adopt this into their lives (they may also discover that many, if not most, men like me are already more than willing); and that it will help men feel reassured that their often repressed submissive desires toward women is natural.

Although these are quite separate in my mind, many people combine two or all three FLR areas together. If both members of the relationship feel the same (i.e. both agree that the woman runs the household but that the man is dominant in the bedroom) then things work out well. However, if these different needs are not recognized and addressed, I believe the couple may find more tensions and dissatisfaction with the relationship.

My ideal FLR would have me as a submissive in all three aspects (with the same woman)....



The FLR agreement/contract

The FLR agreement/contract

Every FLR is not the same, maybe similar but not exactly the same. Each relationship is designed by the individuals in accordance to their needs and desires. Typically the couple will have many conversations discussing their needs and desires before potentially creating a written agreement / contract between them.

Some couples might choose to have a written agreement/contract. A written agreement/contract is not an absolute must have but it can be an asset to the relationship. It gives the couple a blueprint of their wishes as they agreed to originally and serves as a guide to help them through their personal journey.

As the couple see fit they can adjust the agreement/contract in accordance to their personal choice.

Typically the agreement/contract has a time frame in which they have agreed to look back over the agreement/contract or it is simply discussed at some point that they have advanced in their journey and they agree; or the Female decides to make adjustments to the agreement/contract.

About FLR Musings

About FLR Musings blog

This blog is dedicated to all aspects of Female Led Relationships (FLR) and Female Domination (Femdom), authored by those women and men who live the lifestyle or dream of living it.

Please enjoy and feel free to comment or ask questions. 

If you would like to contribute your musing about the FLR lifestyle, please contact us.